writing
The cold fell on my face, my ears, my nose. It absorbed into my skin, my bones, and met the fire in my soul. I sighed. The road before me lay in the shadow of the mountains. I could see the birthing rays of a new sun stretch out over the peaks, but the light was hidden, its full brilliance only something to be guessed at, not seen.
And I thought, this is my life. A road in the shade of a mountain. What would I see if I summitted the peak and saw the sun beyond the mountains?
I'm not the most reliable person. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am the world's worst at responding to texts, emails, and phone calls in a courteous, timely fashion. As a result, I have always shied away from making New Year's resolutions, because I know myself. I will break them, I think to myself, before the first week is out. And, if we're being honest, that is, historically, exactly what usually happens.
But.
This year, some serious changes have to be made in my lifestyle, particularly when it comes to creating. I am in the process of learning that creating isn't always about the end result, or the amount of success a thing does or doesn't receive. Creatives create because they have to. It isn't, as some believe, an option. Like the physical necessities of eating, sleeping, exercising, etc., creating is a necessity of the soul. Without it, we are simply surviving. The world is full of such people, the walking dead - physically alive, but little else. I am among them. In all sincerity, with no hyperbole, if I'm not making something, I literally feel like I'm dying, or worse. I'm dead already. And I'm tired of being dead. I'm waking up.
So, my resolution this year is to do my best to write something, or post a photo on my personal Instagram feed (@beam_benjamin) every day. I know that I won't succeed in this completely. Rigid structure and I have never been friends. Religious obligation to meet my goal will suck all of the fun out of it. But it is a goal, and one that I desperately need in my life right now, like a lighthouse.
My request to anyone who would follow me, view my photos and read my posts, is this: Hold me accountable. Encourage me. Critique me. No man who stands victorious stands alone. Thank you.
Here's to 2016.
Benjamin Beam
